But Then You Get Over It

When it first happens you feel pretty bad about it.

It just kind of hovers over you like a dark rain cloud.  Sometimes it presents itself as a physical ailment like nausea or a migraine.  You might experience moments of deep humiliation or confusion and you might even start to question everything about your entire existence.

Rejection is a bitch.

You may react in different ways when you experience it depending on how sensitive you are. Personally, my reactions range from cursing, crying, extreme exercising, binge eating, binge drinking, sleeping for days at a time to completely shutting down emotionally and putting up my trusty force field to protect me from evil beings.

I don't handle rejection very well.

The worst part comes when I start to question everything about myself. That's the absolute worst part about rejection.  When you start to question yourself you're like three small steps away from hitting depression and that's a whole other battle. I was on this rejection-depression cycle for years before I finally figured out a way to deal with it.  It's not something I've mastered by any stretch of the imagination but I do have it under control.

To work through this tough cycle I remind myself that there will always be people out there who simply don't like me. Maybe they're jealous, maybe they're intimidated or they feel threatened or maybe they're just snobs or closet racists who simply think they're better than me. It doesn't matter what the reason is, there will always be someone who simply doesn't like me. I remind myself of that and then I tell myself that it's their problem not mine.  If you don't like me that's YOUR business.

Easier said than done, I know.

Sometimes it takes me physically looking in the mirror and telling myself this over and over again. Then I tell myself that getting all bent out of shape over people who don't care about me or my feelings (or my storyline) is such a waste of energy. I then work out or I get on my computer and start writing or shooting Youtube videos.

If I'm still feeling emotional after that, I let myself feel the rejection. I feel the humiliation, I feel the anger, the confusion and if the mood strikes - I cry.  Because it's personal and it hurts and I'm a human being and there's nothing wrong with that. Anyone who tells you not to take things "personally" is probably a jerk or completely clueless.  When you get rejected it is personal.

But you don't have to stay in that place.  You don't have to let that moment define you or stay with you. And most importantly don't let it or anyone make you question who you are.  No one should ever have that much power or influence in your life.

Yeah rejection sucks.

But after awhile the pain ebbs and you forget how humiliated and confused you were feeling.  It may takes minutes, days, weeks or even months but eventually you get over it. You get over those people, that moment, the hurtful words. You just stop caring. You move on with your life and seek happiness elsewhere.

Because for good people like you - there's always some good fortune coming your way.

Go Be Happy. Now.

I can't afford valium but I can afford alcohol

I had a tough day last week.

I hope you didn't think this blog was only going to chronicle all the good parts of my post sidekick girl life.  If so, I'm sorry to say you'll be disappointed.  I have decided to pursue a life that makes me happy without all the friendship drama but that doesn't mean there aren't bad days.

And I do still have bad days.
My bad days generally involve a lot of crying and feeling overwhelmed and full of dread.
A panic attack basically.

As a child I got them pretty often.  But when you grow up in a Christian home they aren't called panic attacks.  You're either attention starved or possessed by the devil.  But I was hurting and I needed help.

As an adult I rarely get them.  The last one was well over a year ago.  So I count even this moment of complete overwhelming devastation a victory.  Because somehow - despite that overwhelming feeling of dread and temporary fear of going outside - I managed to leave my apartment and get to work- albeit an hour late.

In the past panic attacks kept me indoors for days.  I called off work.  Skipped class.  Shut myself off from the world because I couldn't deal.

But now I guess I can deal.

I am dealing.

I met a new girl who told me that she takes Valium for her panic attacks.  I've never taken Valium or any type of depression medication before.  I don't know much about it aside from what I've read in books or seen in movies starring spoiled rich white kids and women who start drinking wine at 10am.  All I know is that it's supposed to help ease the anxiety.  I'm not the type to put random pills into my body.  The closest I ever came to that was diet pills- which I don't do anymore. 

Plus I can't afford Valium.

I can, however, afford alcohol.  Don't judge me but a little bit of alcohol goes a long way.  A glass of red wine.  A shot of whiskey.  Or a bit of Khalua in my morning coffee usually does the trick.  *This is not me giving out advice.  Please don't follow my lead here.  I'm merely sharing apart of my life as I continue to work on myself.  I don't think alcohol solves any problems.  If you choose to see it as a cry for help then by all means feel free to pray for me.

This is just how I cope for now.

I haven't made it to the other side of perfect yet.  I only just started this journey and I have a long way to go.  So there are still hard days- really hard days.  Being on my own without the distraction of toxic, drama-filled friendships means I have more time to work on myself. 

And that's a good thing.
But sometimes it takes a little sip of something to get me through the dark days.

 

I can afford a sip here and there.

Taking Time to Be Alone

For the past couple of years I've been spending a lot of time alone.

I stepped away from almost all of my friendships and just kind of went in for awhile.  It was lonely but it gave me a chance to get to know myself.   During that time I realized there were things I liked about myself that I wouldn't change and then there were things I needed to take a closer look at.  

I also took time to reflect on the friendships I'd stepped away from - all of them, not just the toxic ones - and I could see who was missing from my life.  The absence of those healthy relationships was noticeable.  So when it was time to face the world again those were the friendships I focused on rekindling.

I like to call this process of stepping away from people and slowly reintegrating them back into my life my Friendship Allergy Test.

As I started opening myself up to friendships again I was very aware of how I reacted to their presence.  If I found myself breaking out in hives or sneezing uncontrollably around certain people I knew I was allergic to their B.S. and would need to keep my distance.  So far, the allergy test has worked wonders.  I've had almost no allergic reactions.

I don't hang out with people who make me break out in hives.  I don't hang out with people who spend the entire night making fun of me or criticizing me or asking me personal questions about my life because they're thirsty for juicy gossip.  I don't spend time with people who are competitive with me or condescending or judgmental of me.  I don't spend time with people who make me uncomfortable or give me ulcers.  Most importantly, I don't spend time with people who physically assault me.  It's been awesome.

The friendships I'm rekindling are even better than they'd been before I had my breakthrough.  So - yay!  It works.  Now maybe you won't have a physical reaction to people like breaking out in hives or getting ulcers but internally you'll know if someone isn't a right fit.  You should pay attention to that little voice that's trying to warn you about a potential toxic friendship.

If you can't hear that voice, then take some time to be alone and get to know yourself.  Being able to be alone is important.  If you can't spend time by yourself how can you expect anyone else to want to spend time with you?  I had to get used to it.  To the silence.  To hearing only my own thoughts.  But as time went on I got better at being alone.  Now I absolutely cherish my alone time.

Real friends, by the way, will allow you to step away for a bit and take some time to yourself.  They won't guilt trip you or try to pressure you into remaining that fun, party girl who always drank too much and made a fool of herself.  Real friends want you to get your shit together.  They'll support you while you're doing it and they won't make it all about them.

As you do your friendship allergy test take note of who's being an understanding friend and who's making it all about them.  Most likely the people making it all about them will be the people you won't miss.

Go Be Happy.  Now.

Check out my new Video "Big Chop | What Your Friends Really Think About You" - Don't forget to subscribe!


Read That Former Sidekick Girl's Code of Conduct 

Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

When I was in New York I got to go through some old boxes I'd left behind and found pictures from high school and college.

As I stared at those younger looking images of myself I started thinking about how much simpler life would've been if I'd known then what I know now.

If it were possible to have a chat with my younger self these are some of the things I would say:

Speak up when someone hurts you.  When a bully threatens to beat you up.  When a so-called friend calls you the 'N' word and laughs in your face.  Speak up.  Stand up for yourself.  Even if it means that bully following through with her threat and getting punched in the face.  Even if it means losing all your friends.  Don't crouch in a corner or stand on the sidelines and just take it hoping they'll get bored and move on.  Speak up - stand up for yourself.  Be loud about it.

It's OK to be on your own.  It builds character.

Don't make out with your boss.  It won't end well.

Don't go work at any summer camps after college.  It's a complete waste of time and on both occasions you'll be unfairly fired so don't do it.

That box of oatmeal pies won't make you feel better.

Don't leave your camera on the floor of your bedroom prom night.  It will get stolen either by your dad or one of his friends.  And dad won't buy you a new one despite his promise to.

Don't lose your virginity to get back at your ex-boyfriend.

So you know that woman who's always hanging around the choir director?  She's evil.  Possibly a racist.  Don't waste any of your energy trying to get on her good side or seek her approval.

Don't pass messages back and forth between friends.  There will be confusion and you'll end up getting blamed for everything.

Listen to your mom.  She loves you.

Try to be nice to your sister.

Put family first no matter what.

If someone calls you the n word or uses it ever don't associate with them.  They aren't your friends.  Also, don't have sex with White guys who use the N word.  It's degrading and you can do better.

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Everyone makes mistakes.

Don't take everything so seriously.

Don't follow the crowd.

Don't move to Los Angeles based on someone else's advice.

Don't take anyone's virginity as a favor to them.

Don't hook up with your guy friends.  Not on your birthday.  Not because he's drunk.  Not for any reason.  It will ruin everything.  And none of them will treat you like a real friend afterwards.

If you are sad or heartbroken it's OK to cry.  It doesn't make you weak.

Floss everyday.

Don't be afraid to go on adventures.  Whether that's exploring Harlem for the first time by yourself or spending a semester in London to intern at the BBC.  Do it.

Everything will work out in your favor if you just have Faith.  And work hard.

If they never call you just to check in or catch up - they aren't your friends.  Let them go.

Healthy competition between girlfriends is OK but if you find yourself constantly drained or angry and upset after spending time with someone cut them loose.  It's a toxic relationship.

Fall in love with one boy at a time.

Don't hook up with your teachers.

If you have to ask what the word "buck" means - you're not ready to fight.  Walk away.

Practice forgiveness.  Don't hold grudges or burn bridges because things didn't go your way.

Love yourself.

I'm sure there are a hundred other pieces of advice I could give myself too but then this post would never end.  Knowing me and how stubborn I was as a teenager, I probably wouldn't heed any of this advice.  But at least my younger self would know there was somebody (from the future) looking out for her - and since we both love time travel movies that little fact might actually make me cool in my younger self's book.

What would you tell your younger self?

Labor Day Weekend In New York

My trip to New York was very last minute.  I'd had it in the back of my head that I wanted to visit before the end of 2014 but I didn't know until about 2-3 days prior to actually leaving that I would be going.  I was very happy that I would be in New York for Labor Day Weekend and to spend the last days of summer with friends and family.  Since this trip was impromptu - and since it had been two years since last I was in New York and that trip hadn't been all that pleasant - I thought I'd blog about it.

I left my apartment in Los Angeles before the sun came out.  In true Dawn Melissa fashion I waited until the last minute to pack.  So I was up until about 3am packing and only slept 2 hours before leaving to catch my flight.  I got the aisle seat and didn't check my carry-on.  And I was pleased when I was able to lift my carry-on with one hand into the overhead compartments without any assistance from the men offering to help (I had a hot cup of coffee in the other hand and refused to toss it before boarding because it'd cost $5.  I think my lifting the luggage while holding the hot coffee made everyone around me a little nervous).  

I got to New York in the evening and pretty much spent the rest of the day sleeping and catching up on old episodes of MTV's Awkward. 

The next day was spent with Melinda a friend from college and one of my favorite people still living in New York.  I'd never been to Williamsburg so I thought it would be fun to meet her there.  We had lunch at a place called Sweet Chick where they served Chicken and Waffles but also Kale so- something for everyone.  I had chicken and pancakes but next time I go I will try their shrimp and grits.  

While we ate we had a really interesting chat about friendships.  I realized through this conversation that I'm in a place where I'm not open to just any kind of friendship anymore.  My standards have gone up and I'm really looking for genuine friendships.  I also realized that as far as LA is concerned I'm not open to new friendships.  I just don't believe I can find what I'm looking for here.  Which explains why I rarely go out anymore.  But that's all going to change very soon. 

The next day was spent walking around Central Park, Times Square, Greenwich village and Soho.

  

I walked so much my feet were killing me. 

At one point, while sitting on a rock in Central Park, one of those typical upper eastside types dripped her Gyro on me because she was so busy keeping up a steady stream of nonsensical conversation with a couple of toddlers that she didn't notice me.  Hey I guess when I have children I'll be the same way do I won't make fun of her too much - still, kind of annoying.  Normally I get pretty ticked off when people drop food on me but in this instance I was relieved that it hadn't been bird poop.  So I let it slide.

The next day was spent preparing for a party to celebrate the Virgin Mary.  Orlando's parents had been planning for a year and were excited that Orlando was able to come to New York to show his support.  Orlando's mom inspected the dress I'd packed and made sure I had accessories and a handbag to go with it.  I also had to wear heels.  Then she sent me to get my nails done- which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Meanwhile, Orlando, his father and his brothers went to get suits for the occasion.   

Everyone looked very nice.  Especially Orlando who had to make a speech in Spanish.  He did well.  I will post a vlog about that on my channel.  The party was fun.  I even got to put some of those salsa lessons Orlando and I took together to good use.

The next day, we went to a BBQ on Long Island.  By this time I was covered in mosquito bites so I was a little uncomfortable.  I wasn't used to humidity or dealing with mosquitos but what I didn't mind was the rain.  The California drought had me thirsty for a rainstorm.  So I was ecstatic when it started raining during the BBQ.  That didn't stop us from eating and playing flip cup (which I'm pretty good at BTW).  

On the way home we stopped to get lotion for my bug bites.  At one point, a little girl and her dad came in the store.  Someone on her way our held the door for the dad and he walked through without acknowledging the person who'd held the door.  The little girl called out to her dad, "she held the door for you dad, what do you say?  What do you say dad?!". The dad looked embarrassed as everyone stared at him then he mumbled, "Thank you," and rushed off.  It was an awesome moment.  I realized kids always have something to teach their entitled parents. 

I saw my family the next day.  My cousins and their kids, my goddaughter, my aunts, my brother and sister and grandad.  Pretty much everyone except my mom, which was a bummer, but I got to talk with her on the phone.  

It was a nice day spent in Pennsylvania and a really great way to wrap up the Labor Day Weekend festivities.  With more food, movies and picture taking.  The best part was that I got to meet the newest addition to the family- my one month old cousin Amari Egypt.  

If ever I were certain that I wanted kids it was in this moment.  Holding that tiny baby and falling head over heals in love.

I spent my last day back in Queens going through a bunch of old high school and college photos and mourning the loss of my girlish figure.  Lol.  Actually it was a nice trip down memory lane.  But I'll write more on that later.   

For now I've just landed in LAX - like the plane touched down as I started writing this paragraph.  I need to go to baggage claim because the idiot at LGA forced me to check my tiny bag.  Even though it was free it was still annoying because my bag wasn't too big or bulky.  Also, the flight wasn't full so there were all these empty compartments just laughing at me as I sulked in my seat before take off.  

I didn't sulk long though because I fell fast asleep as soon as the plane took off.  Again in true Dawn Fashion I'd waited until the last minute to pack and had only slept two hours.  When I woke up I decided to write about my trip.  It was really nice to get away from Los Angeles for a bit.  Especially during the Labor Day Weekend.  Mosquito bites, humidity, heavy rain and all - I enjoyed every bit.  

But I'm glad to be home and looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.  

Not Everyone Is Your Competition

I was late for the bus as usual.

For someone who wanted so desperately to live in major cities like New York, Los Angeles and London I sure had a hard time using public transportation.  For some reason, I never leave my home with enough time to catch whatever bus or train I needed in order to reach my destination.

So on the night I was meant to meet a friend at the Ahmanson I left my apartment exactly 10 minutes before my bus was scheduled to arrive.  Which meant I needed to run if I was going to catch that bus.

I run on a regular basis so this was not really a big deal.  The problem was I was wearing a dress and heels and I'd just spent 20 minutes putting on makeup.  Running wasn't exactly ideal in a situation like this.  But that's what happens when you don't give yourself enough time to walk to the bus stop like a civilized human being.  You end up running ten blocks in heels, sweaty and out of breath and your carefully applied makeup totally wrecked.

Halfway through my ten-block run I got tired.  I said I run regularly - I never said I didn't get tired.  I slowed to a power walk to try to catch my breath.  At that exact moment, some douchebag jogger wearing super short, bright yellow jogging shorts and a matching headband zooms by.

From my perspective he was trotting more than jogging - like he'd been waiting to surpass me all along.  Like he was somehow the victor in this race because I was now powerwalking and he was still running.  I was not only irked by the ease with which he jogged by me but the air of arrogance that lingered long after he'd disappeared down the blocked really pissed me off.

Then my crazy set in...

Did this guy think he was a winner?  Does he think he just did something special here because he can run further without slowing down?  He's not doing anything special - I'm wearing heals for crying out loud.  Eff that guy...

I started running again and reached my bus stop just in time to see my bus pull away.  I had to wait another 30 minutes for the next bus.  While I waited those 30 minutes for the next bus I saw that same jogger walking back in the opposite direction.  He never even glanced in my direction.

I shook my head laughing to myself.  I'd gotten all worked up over this guy who, in reality, hadn't been in a race with me.  Sometimes I get competitive for no reason - like when I'm at the gym and some super fit girl takes the treadmill next to mine and I feel the need to push myself to run the same distance as her.  That type of competitiveness is probably OK since it does motivate me to workout but in this instance - I was simply having a crazy moment.  I was focusing on things in my peripheral instead of on my own path.  I'd created drama and discourse where there was none- and I'd missed my bus.

It was a friendly reminder that not everyone is my competition.  Not everyone is trying to do the same thing as me.  The only person I need to focus on competing against is myself.  "A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it.  It just blooms."  I need to keep that in mind as I continue on this journey to Leading Lady.

I also really need to work on leaving my apartment on time so that I don't miss my bus.  Fortunately I made it to the Ahmanson in time for the show.  I saw Buyers and Cellars, by the way and it was amazing!!

Hope you all have fantastic Sunday!  Check out my previous post if you missed it.  Please follow me on Bloglovin to stay caught up.  And don't forget to subscribe and share!

xoxo

Unbox Yourself | Reject the Labels

 I've been called many different names:  

"Don"
"The crazy one"
"Sharlena"

My sixth grade best friend jokingly called me "Coolio" after the rapper because I'd put my real hair into mini-braids that resembled his hair.

I was called "nugget" for most of my childhood because of the knot on my forehead caused by too many clumsy encounters with walls and other hard surfaces.

And then there was the time an NYU security guard referred to me as 'sucio' which is a Spanish word meaning dirty.  I was signing a boy into my dorm at about 3am and I guess he frowned on that sort of behavior - of course he had no way of knowing that the boy in question was my brother.

That one time, in college, I was a sidechick.  I didn't know it - I didn't know the guy I was hooking up with was cheating on his girlfriend with me and no amount of denying culpability after the fact would save my reputation so you could add "slut" and "homewrecker" to the list of names.  But I wasn't any of those things and at one point I decided to reject them.  It's not what people call you, it's what you answer to.  Once it clicked that I didn't have to be any of those things everything else fell into place.  

I suddenly understood that there will always be something about me that doesn't quite sit well with other people and that's just going to have be OK.  It used to bother me so much when people didn't like me.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  But now I say if someone doesn't like me that's their problem.  Not mine.  The truth is, I either possess qualities they hate about themselves or I possess qualities they want for themselves.  Either way it's for them to figure out - not me.  Friendships are tricky enough to navigate without me (or anyone) having to think for the other person or try to read their thoughts.

I read a book called "The Twisted Sisterhood" by Kelly Valen where she touched on some pretty heavy stuff regarding female friendships.  

The part that resonated with me was the chapter on Tribes, Packs and Cliques and how women who've been tormented by groups of women in their younger years (i.e. sororities, girls' camp, cheerleading squads) tend to shy away from big groups of women in their adult years (i.e. exercise classes, writing groups, Mommy & Me etc).  Reading this book helped me understand why I tend to avoid female groups and opt for one-on-one outings.  I have several female friends but I rarely hang out with more than one at a time.  It had never occurred to me that I was making the conscious effort to keep my girlfriends separate from each other for the purpose of self-preservation.


The book helped me to understood why I thought the way I did.  When we can pinpoint what is it about ourselves that makes us behave or react a certain way toward other people we can make better choices about how we treat those people.


When I find myself giving the unnecessary 'side eye' to someone else I pause to think about why I'm throwing shade.  Am I jealous?  Or do I recognize something in that person that I don't like about myself?  There's not always a simple answer - sometimes it turns out me and that other person just aren't a good match.  At least instead of wasting time and energy being snarky, backbiting or being angry and upset all the time, I'm able to sort out my feelings and decide what to do about that friendship.

I'm also more aware when other people are throwing shade at me and because I know it has nothing to do with me I can laugh it off without getting bent out of shape.  For instance, a girl at work is constantly making jokes or rolling her eyes at me whenever a male co-worker talks to me.  Whether we're flirting or not (we're not flirting - most of the males I work with are like 20.  I don't plan to hook up with 20-year-olds until I'm in my 40s) this co-worker just had jokes or snarky remarks and then would smile in my face like she just did something.  When I was 20 that kind of thing would have me in tears.  But now I see it for what it is and it doesn't bother me.

Once I stopped worrying about what other people thought of me life got so much easier.

In conclusion: 

1) Not everyone will like you. 

2) If someone doesn't like you that's their problem.
3) People can only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  

It took me 15 years to accept that.  If you're just getting into your teen years learn it now and learn it fast.  Don't waste the sexiest years of your life chasing after people and trying to get them to like you.  You're better than that.  Know yourself and your worth and reject the rest.  Don't let anyone put you in any box or label you anything that isn't who you are.  

Go Be Happy.  Now.

Sidekick Girl: A State of Mind

For every 'It Girl' there is a trusty Sidekick.  

She's that girl you see trailing two steps behind, living in the shadows, playing second fiddle.  In movies and on TV, the sidekick girl role is usually played by a Person of Color.  She appears to be less attractive than the leading lady (so as not to pull focus, however, in real life this is not always the case) she has a nonexistent backstory and a 'sassy' attitude.  If you watch a lot of movies and TV like me you've seen this It Girl/ Sidekick Girl pairing a lot.  Maybe you've even seen yourself in one of those roles.

Funny or Die: The Black Best Friend with Casey Wilson

I wanted to see myself as the leading lady but I was actually the sidekick - to many different people not just to an 'It Girl'.  I was a follower, a people pleaser, a 'yes' girl and the girl whose name you forgot after I said it.  But this isn't just about surviving the Mean Girls experience because there were times when I was that "mean girl."  This is about how falling into that 'sidekick' role can happen to anyone and how you can be a sidekick to anyone (boyfriend, best friend, family member) if you allow it.

If you believe you're just a sidekick then you will be a sidekick.

I was bullied.  I grew up in a seriously unstable home environment.  I also lived in a White neighborhood and always felt like the token Black girl.  I had low self-esteem and I didn't know my self-worth.

So I had that sidekick girl mentality.

I didn't realize it until I moved to Los Angeles.  LA has a way of awakening your dormant insecurities, causing them to bubble up to the surface and spew all over your bathroom floor - oh wait that was me after too many Jägerbombs - but I digress.  

After I found out I was a sidekick girl I got depressed.  I partied hard.  I rebelled against authority figures, took my daddy issues out on boyfriends, dabbled with unprotected sex - once.  I cried a lot.  I drank a lot.  I had a lot of sex.

 

But then I realized none of that was working for me.  Gone were my 'sexy tipsy' days anyway.  Over the years I'd morphed into an angry drunk and on more than one occasion I would wake up the next morning with an insane hangover and this awful feeling that I owed someone an apology.  That was never a pleasant feeling.  But I would go do the same thing again and the cycle would continue.

I had my 'a-ha' moment when on a particularly low night I needed a friend and realized there was no one to reach out to - or who would take my call.  I knew then it was time to make some serious changes.

But a 'a-ha' moment didn't mean I suddenly had all the answers.  Plus there was still the issue of my drinking...and sex addiction but we'll get to that later.  I went to therapy, read a ton of self-improvement books, gave up drinking for awhile, sent apology (and goodbye) emails and waited for my life to magically get better.

It didn't.

I realized I wasn't going to undo years of damage overnight.  I was going to have to work at this everyday.  It's easy to sit on the sidelines and blame everyone else for your misery.  I did that for a long time until I figured out that was a waste of time.  I needed to take an active role in my own life.  Change doesn't just happen.  We make it happen.  No matter how scary it is or how hideous we look during the transition we have to go through that fire if we want to see radical results.

Because I can be sexy tipsy again.  I can laugh and be positive again.  I can meet new people and not automatically assume they're out to hurt me.  I can be lovable- I can believe I am lovable.  I just have to work at it.  Everyday.  Everyday until it just comes naturally.

Because I'm not a Sidekick Girl.  Despite the number of girls that look like me who play that role in movies - I know I wasn't born to play that role.  None of us was born to play that role.

So let's kick that Sidekick Girl mentality and take our rightful place in the spotlight.

Go Be Happy.  Now.
(Pictures by Orlando Mercado)